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Northern Fairy Tales
The Good Bargain There was once a farmer by the name of Kolskegg who drove his
cow to the fair, and sold her for seven thalers. On the way home he passed by
a pond, and from afar he heard the frogs croaking. “Aik, aik, aik, aik,” croaked the frog chorus. “Well!” said Kolskegg to himself. “Those frogs obviously can't
count! It is seven thalers that I have received, not eight.” When he got to the water, he cried to the frogs: “Hey, stupid animals that you are. Don't you know any better
than that! It is seven thalers and not eight.” The frogs, however, stuck to their croaking. “Aik aik, aik,
aik,” they croaked tirelessly. Kolskegg threw his hat down on the ground. “Come on, then, if
you don't believe me, I can count it out to you.” He took his money out of his pocket and counted out the seven
thalers, always reckoning four and twenty groschen to a thaler. The frogs, however, paid no attention to his reckoning, but still
kept on croaking: “Aik, aik, aik, aik!” “What!” cried Kolskegg. He was getting quite angry now. “If you
know better than I do, count it yourselves!” And with that he threw all his money into the pond! He stood still and waited for the frogs to come back to him with
the recount. The frogs maintained their opinion and cried continually: “Aik, aik, aik, aik.” Kolskegg still waited a long while until evening came on and
he was forced to go home. Then he called the frogs all sorts of bad names: “You water-splashers! You thick-heads! You goggle-eyes! You have
great big mouths and you can screech till you hurt my ears, but you can't count
up to seven thalers. Do you think I'm going to stand here till you get through!” With that Kolskegg went away, but the frogs still croaked: “Aik,
aik, aik, aik,” after him till he went home sorely vexed. After a while Kolskegg bought another cow, which he slaughtered,
and he made the calculation that if he sold the meat well he might gain as much
as the two cows were worth, and have the hide into the bargain. When he got to town with the meat, a great pack of dogs were
gathered together in front of the gate. The dogs were all shapes and sorts,
but their leader was a large greyhound, which jumped at Kolskegg's meat, sniffed
at it, and barked: “Wow, wow, wow!” As there was no stopping him, Kolskegg said to him: “Yes, yes, I know that you are saying wow, wow, wow, because
you want some of the meat, but I should be in a fine state if I were to give
it to you.” The greyhound, however, barked again: wow, wow, wow. “Will you promise not to devour it all then, and will you go
bail for your companions?” asked Kolskegg. “Wow, wow, wow,” barked the greyhound. “Well, if you insist on it, I will leave it for you, I know you
well, and know whom you serve, but this I tell you, I must have my money in
three days or else it will go ill with you, you can just bring it out to me.” Kolskegg unloaded the meat and turned back again. The dogs fell
upon it and loudly barked, wow, , wow, wow. Kolskegg, who heard them from up the road, said to himself: “Hark, now they all want some, but the big one is responsible
to me for it.” When three days had passed, Kolskegg clapped his hands together
at the thought of getting paid by the big greyhound When Kolskegg went into town, he saw no-one about. He looked
up and down, but all the dogs kept out of his way. “This is too much!” he complained. “There really is no trusting
any one now.” At last he lost patience, and went to the butcher and demanded
his money. The butcher thought it was a joke, but Kolskegg said: “Jesting apart, I will have my money. Did not the big greyhound
bring you the whole of the slaughtered cow three days ago?” The butcher grew angry at this. He snatched a broomstick and
drove Kolskegg out. “Just you wait,” shouted Kolskegg, shaking his fist at the angry
butcher. “There is still some justice in the world!” Kolskegg now turned his face towards the royal palace and begged
for an audience with good King Thrain. Soon Kolskegg was led before good King Thrain, who sat there
with his daughter, the beautiful Hallgerd. King Thrain asked Kolskegg what injury
he had suffered. “Alas,” said Kolskegg, “the frogs and the dogs have taken from
me what is mine, and the butcher has paid me for it with the stick!” And he told the whole story from beginning to end. When the beautiful Hallgerd heard the whole of his tale, why,
she began to laugh heartily. King Thrain said to Kolskegg, “I cannot give you justice in this,
but you shall have my daughter to wife – in her whole life she has never yet
laughed as she has just done at you, and I have promised her to him who could
make her laugh. You may thank the wise gods for your good fortune.” “Oh,” answered Kolskegg, “I do not want her at all. I have a
wife already, and she is one too many for me. When I go home, it is just as
if I had a wife standing in every corner.” King Thrain felt insulted at this reply. “You are an ignoramus!” “Ah, good King Thrain,” replied Kolskegg, “what can you expect
from an ox, but beef?” “Stop!” ordered the king. “You shall have another reward. Be
off now, but come back in three days, and then you shall have five hundred counted
out in full.” When Kolskegg went out by the gate, the sentry said: “You have made the king's daughter laugh, so you will certainly
receive a great reward.” “Yes, that is what I think,” answered Kolskegg. “Five hundred
are to be counted out to me.” “Listen,” said the soldier, “give me some of it. What can you
do with all that money?” “As it is yourself,” said Kolskegg, “you shall have two hundred.
Present yourself in three days' time before good King Thrain, and let it be
paid to you.” A rich, well-dressed merchant, who was standing by, overheard
the conversation. He ran after the peasant, held him by the coat, and said: “Oh, wonder of the gods, what a child of fortune you are! I will
bank it for you, I will invest it for you in small business ventures, what do
you want with all the weight of those great thalers weighing down your trousers?” “Merchant,” said the Kolskegg, “three hundred can go to you.
Give it to me at once in coin; in three days from this, you will be paid for
it by good King Thrain.” The merchant was delighted with the profit, and brought out the
sum in bad groschen, three of which were worth two good ones. After three days had passed, according to the command of good
King Thrain, Kolskegg appeared at the royal court. “Pull his coat off,” said good King Thrain, “and he shall have
his five hundred.” “Ah,” said Kolskegg, “they no longer belong to me, I presented
two hundred of them to the sentry, and three hundred the merchant has changed
for me, so by right nothing at all belongs to me.” In the meantime the soldier and the merchant entered and claimed
what they had gained from Kolskegg, and they received the blows strictly counted
out. The soldier bore it patiently and knew already how it tasted,
but the merchant said sorrowfully: “Alas, alas, these are indeed heavy thalers.” Good King Thrain could not help laughing at Kolskegg, and when
all his anger was spent, he said: “As you have already lost your reward before it fell to your
lot, I will give you compensation. Go into my treasure chamber and get some
money for yourself, as much as you want.” Kolskegg did not need to be told twice, and stuffed into his
big pockets whatever would go in. Afterwards he went to an inn and counted out
his money. The merchant crept sadly after him and heard how Kolskegg muttered
to himself: “That rogue of a king has cheated me after all! Why could he
not have given me the money himself, and then I should have known what I had.
How can I tell now if what I have had the luck to put in my pockets is right
or not.” “Good gods!” said the merchant to himself, “that man is speaking
disrespectfully of good King Thrain! I will run and inform, and then I shall
get a reward, and he will be punished as well.” When good King Thrain heard of Kolskegg's words he fell into
a passion, and commanded the merchant to go and bring the offender to him. The
merchant ran to Kolskegg. “You are to go at once to good King Thrain. This very minute!
Don't even take the time to change your clothes.” “I know what's right better than that,” answered Kolskegg. “I
shall have a new coat made first. Do you think that a man with so much money
in his pocket should go there in this ragged old coat?” The merchant, as he saw that Kolskegg would not stir without
another coat, and as he feared that if the king's anger cooled, he himself would
lose his reward, and Kolskegg his punishment, said: “I will – out of pure friendship – lend you a coat for the short
time. What people will not do for love!” Kolskegg was contented with this. He put the merchant's coat
on, and went off with him. At the royal court, good King Thrain reproached Kolskegg because
of the evil speaking of which the merchant had informed him. “Ah,” said Kolskegg, “what a merchant says is always false –
no true word ever comes out of his mouth. That rascal there is capable of maintaining
that I am wearing his coat!” “What!” shrieked the merchant. “But you are wearing my
coat! Have I not lent it to you out of pure friendship, in order that you might
appear before good King Thrain!” When good King Thrain heard this, he said: “The merchant has certainly deceived one or the other of us,
either myself or Kolskegg.” Once again he ordered something to be counted out to the merchant
in hard thalers. Kolskegg, however, went home in the good coat, with the good
money in his pocket, and said to himself: “This time I have made it!” And he skipped into the air and kicked his heels in delight.
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