NATIONWIDE PANIC ENDS, NORTHGATE RING DISMISSED AS AMATEURS!
July 15, 1997   

AUSTIN,TX (AP) - Authorities will examine the charred remains of several
computers and assess damage today after what some historians have dubbed
"The Northgate Incident."  A series of seemingly related and unprovoked
attacks against computer systems in central Texas has caused much
concern for administrators of networked machines across the nation.
One of these systems, known affectionately as "Jade" to operator/owner
Isaac Kishk, was brutally and irretrievably vandalized late last week.
Kishk is the founder of the prominent chatline "Illusions."

A spokesperson for one firm in the Austin area, who wished to remain
anonymous, related that his "company is prepared to launch full technical
and legal counterattacks whenever a breach is detected."  He also
noted that such a breach is unlikely, but that minor incidents in the
past have attracted the attention of several government agencies.

Jade was but one innocent victim---the security of several other machines
less than 10 miles away was also compromised.  Initial hysteria was
high, but investigators soon learned the true nature of the attacks.
Former millionaire and athlete OJ Simpson claimed to be playing golf while
the attacks were in progress, but authorities say they have an informant
on the inside.  Calling himself "Jeep Throat," the informant stated
that the attacks were initiated from several sites in the midwestwern
United States and used such primitive techniques as packet-sniffing and
prior knowledge.  Former co-administrators of both Jade and Illusions
were unavailable for comment.

One industry expert, known only as "Creel," stated that the attacks,
"while brutal, are clearly the work of amateurs utilizing electronic
warfare tactics they don't fully understand.  The attackers were sloppy
and made no attempt to cover up their activities."

The resultant electronic aftermath of the "Northgate" attack included
a power surge last night which sparked a fire several blocks away at
the outlet center of a popular Austin-based computer manufacturer.
The small fire left the building flooded from the sprinklers.  It also
left a man's decapitated body lying on the floor next to his own severed
head---a head which at this time has no name.